Professional Coaches and Personal Friends
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Introduction
Welcome to this episode of our Self Development Podcast. In this conversation, we tackled Value.
What is Value? We sometimes define value by what it isn’t – cost, the price tag – but what is it? The definition Stephen introduces here is: Value is how you define importance or worth.
Importantly – Value is in the eye of the beholder. It’s what the other person thinks that determines the value. Not you or your effort, time and money.
So think about everything you are doing. Should it be valued? Do others consider it as valuable? And importantly - And everything happening to you. Do you appreciate and recognise its value?
In this conversation, we discuss the value of being aware of what is valuable that you do for others and for yourself; and what others do for you. And once that is appreciated, we discuss the Value Creation Model - Stephen walks us through some steps that we sometimes use but should always use to ensure our Value lands with maximum impact.
If there is a disconnect between the assessment of value one of the parties will end up feeling undervalued, commoditised, taken for granted. Disappointed. And they will leave – taking their importance and value with them – which is why it is so important that you acknowledge the value from those around you. If you are blind to the value that others are bringing all around you – they’ll soon pack up and go. And the value goes with them.
What this model does is makes sure your Value lands with maximum impact. This model works to ensure that the other party is clear in the importance and worth of your product, service, relationship, time, advice… everything. So you feel valued, important, worthy. An important note to add here – the other party can be ‘you’. This can be an internal exercise.
What the VCM does is allow your value to land with impact. It’ll help you to light up the eye of the beholder. It helps you to demonstrate your value in such a way that the other party is no doubt that your service, product, relationship, activity is of importance and of worth to them. Which is great for sales, for commitment, for partnerships.
Once this model is understood it can be used to help build more value for everything you do. If you cannot identify the value in the things you do – then stop. If you can – use the model to ensure that the value is felt. By you, by your friends, your family, colleagues and partners.
FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW
Warren Hammond 00:56
Welcome back Podcats, to this episode on Value. In this episode, Stephen walks us through the value creation model. It's great, simple, three boxes with three boxes in them. It's a nine-box model. And by the end of this episode, you'll have improved your ability to be able to identify, to articulate and communicate Value. Now we know value isn't price. Here it is defined as the importance or worth of something. So whatever you're doing, whether you're trading your time, your expertise, knowledge, it's understanding where the value of that lies, how to communicate that as powerfully and with as much impact as possible. Again, as always, there's some really simple standout lessons that when you hear it you almost want to slap yourself and go 'I know this, I know how already', but seeing it laid out helps. Means that you'll be able to do more of it. The model, I love models, are good and great, you know, a simple guide to make sure that you don't leave anything out. Any thoughts, comments, as always get in touch podcast@coachpro.online. There's lots more on the Coachpro.online site, different models and lots of different videos. Also, we're going to have a full transcript of this Rhinoconsulting.nl. Any thoughts, questions, comments, more information needed have a look. back at the end with some admin. Here comes the cheesy music.
Warren Hammond 02:44
Normal call sign. We are still on Zoom, still on lockdown. so Edinburgh. Can you hear me?
Stephen Gribben 02:50
Loud and clear.
Warren Hammond 02:51
loud and clear, good news. This is a good one. That should be my standard intro, this is a good one. But this is a good one. It's a big one. And I'm not going to do too much intro because it's also a long one, I know we're going to cover a lot of ground. So today, we are talking about value. Now, pretty much what we all know about value we're taught really early, is Value is not the same as Price. You know, this is what we're always told value and price are two distinct things. I think we still get them more confused sometimes. The price that we put on it or the price that someone else puts on it. So let's get to a good starting point. If value isn't price, what is it, Stephen, what's a better definition of it?
Stephen Gribben 03:39
Value is how you define importance or worth.
Warren Hammond 03:44
Importance or worth. Okay, so I can see how money can sometimes be a proxy for importance or worth. But this is isn't just monetary important or worth
Stephen Gribben 03:57
Well you think of the term 'Value for Money. So that's the amount of money that you will put dependent on the level of importance and worth. Whereas some people will just take value for money is either cheap or expensive. But the value is the 'What you're paying for in terms of Importance and Worth rather than just commodity.
Warren Hammond 04:18
Okay, so if I think it's important, what I think is value for money and you think is a value for money, then it isn't how much money it is, it's the level of importance I feel it has for me and the level of importance you feel it has for you.
Stephen Gribben 04:34
Yeah, and what it's really worth and what this is about, what we're going to cover is, your ability to be able to identify, articulate and communicate Value. So that what you're doing is you're trading your service, product, relationship, time, expertise, anything that you're doing, you're communicating that in terms of its value. So it's importance and worth, rather than just its price.
Warren Hammond 05:04
And that's important. Yes. Because by properly understanding importance and worth, that's how you get a better price in a pure sales term, but in terms of everything else, I mean, whether it's money, time, attention, space, understanding this basic concept, you're not always asking for money are you, sometimes you're asking for attention and time,
Stephen Gribben 05:30
Or appreciation or acknowledgement or recognition, you might say to someone by spend hours on that, but if there was no importance or worth to it, all you've done is spent the time. So it's moving up to that level of beyond the quantity of things you do. And beyond the quality of how well you've done it up to that level of saying, what was the value and impact it had? Where was the importance and the worth? So that the time, effort, investment, whatever it is that you're providing is calculated on value. So calculating how important is it and what was the worth that came from it. So what you're able to do is to identify the value and communicate that value, so that you're assessed on value.
Warren Hammond 06:21
The difficulty I always have with these type of conversations is when you say it's so obvious that this is something that I do sometimes. But this always comes back to this being conscious of the fact that, that you do it. So when we talked about relationships, or self-talk, we talked about vision, we talked about goals, talk about purpose, we talked about all of these different things. And when you say it, I say 'Yeah, I know this. But that's the trouble, isn't it? Sometimes you seem to know it and do this. And other times you don't I mean, that's the that's the crazy thing.
Stephen Gribben 06:57
Well, that's the gift, that that's the real big opportunity, as you already know this stuff. But it's just being more consciously aware of it, and then been able to do something with it. So in terms of value, it's understanding for yourself the value that you have, the value you're creating, the value you're providing, but also understanding what the other person in the relationship or your client or your partner and or your kids or your friends, what they would hold importance and worth in, will be what's of value to them. So by being able to understand the value, you're able to communicate what you do in a way where it can be valued, rather than just feeling undervalued, underappreciated, or insulted, or taken for granted. And also vice versa, that people who may think that you're undervaluing them or taking them for granted, it's being able to move that understanding more to level of value, rather than just quantity, or quality, I've done a lot for you. And I've done it really, really well. If it doesn't really have any value or importance or worth or make a difference, it's difficult to appreciate it accurately. So it's just making sure we're protecting the value in the relationships, the value in the product value in the activity, by understanding how to identify and articulate value.
Warren Hammond 08:29
Yeah, so sometimes, you talked about feeling undervalued or, and you can do this to yourself or to others and others to you. And then that's the feeling you have at the end of it. This is understanding why you feel like this at the end of the process. Sometimes it isn't about dealing with being feeling undervalued, it's understanding the whole process,
Stephen Gribben 08:53
It's looking at it objectively, and intelligently rather than just the emotion, because the emotion will go from one end to the other. You either feel undervalued or just feel that there's no value in something. Or you might go to the other extreme, and you think because I like that I want to imagine it has value. And if you've ever felt you've been kind of overly sold on something, or you've had to reciprocate on something with value in return for something that was of no value, then what that is is an emotional decision making process rather than a considered, consistent, intelligent making process.
Warren Hammond 09:32
So we touched on this before lots. So emotion is black and white, one end or the other. I mean, it's very binary in its nature then, and then what this is, is allowing us to choose what we want to value or how we're going to value it.
Stephen Gribben 09:49
Yeah, you can either feel undervalued, or you can overvalue things because you kind of like them or you get excited about them or you think Oh, this looks really cool, or this could be great. Or I just want this to work. So you imagine value, which sometimes will happen. But a lot of times, it's not quite where you imagined, and you end up disappointed. And feel that you kind of put too much worth and too much importance towards something in terms of then investing your time or your money, or your effort, or whatever, or your reputation in something that actually didn't have a great deal of value.
Warren Hammond 10:27
I love this, okay, so it should feel familiar and to everyone. But then this is about being consciously aware, more often. So that you can handle this better
Stephen Gribben 10:38
It is to accurately assess and accurately communicate value. And look why this is important internally is that you will be doing things that you don't always notice you're doing. And you'll be doing some really good things, some really important things, really worthwhile things, really valuable things. But you're not always noticing. And if you then don't appreciate the things that you're doing, those disciplines, those habits, those routines, those responses, those really good questions that you may ask, if you don't value them, you risk then taking them for granted. And anything that you take for granted will get up and leave you at some point. And the only time you'll then realize the value is when you go looking for them and they're gone. So internally it is really important that you acknowledge, identifying and appreciate the good things that you do that are worthwhile and important. The things that you do of value
Warren Hammond 11:38
I like that. So this is looking at internal routines, things you do for yourself, things that you do for others, and understanding that they are making a positive impact for you or, or to others into the world. Like that. So anything you take for granted will eventually get up and leave. Yeah, so acknowledging, that's a good thing. And this is also good for, we talked before, about Confidence and the imposter syndrome, that if you take ownership and acknowledge the good things you're doing, actually, when good things are happening to you, you understand that you played a very key part in it, it wasn't something that happened to you. It is something that happened because of what you were doing.
Stephen Gribben 12:25
Your positive approach, your strengths, your resilience, you're always there for somebody, always supportive, always trying to see the best in people, always being solution orientated. All these things that have importance and worth, you really need to value those and appreciate those so that you maintain them. If you take the flipside of that as well. There are also some things that you do that are of no importance, aren't worthwhile, and bring no value. But you're still putting time and effort into them because maybe it's just what you've always done. Or maybe you feel it's what the situation or life or people have kind of pushed you into doing. So this being able to assess and communicate value is not just about increasing value in everything you're doing. There may also be some things that you think I really don't need to do that anymore. I still do that even though it's not adding any value. So should I really continue doing it? Or is there a way that I can make that of more value?
Warren Hammond 13:29
Yeah, thinking of the Motivation to Move then and with the with the different drop lists. So if you're doing something, but you can no longer feel it's important, stop doing it, or find reasons why it is important. That assessing then is important. That assessing, taking a look because we've got limited time, resources, mind space, resilience, grit, whatever it is, whatever mental energy you're using there, make sure it's on something valuable.
Stephen Gribben 13:59
And that's a conscious choice, otherwise emotional choices come in. And we sometimes let go of things that are actually of value to us, because emotionally, we've disconnected from the value, or the importance or the worth. And then it's just down to, I mean, there's a lot of people who will look at the job and say I don’t know if I am to this anymore. I'm bored, I'm fed up, it's just a job or I don’t like the house I live in anymore, or don't like the partner I'm with anymore or the car I drive anymore. And it's because they no longer see the value. And sometimes if that's like that's a conscious decision, because you're assessing that on real value, then you'll make a conscious decision knowing that you are looking for something that would increase the value. Otherwise your emotions can just kick in and then think well, if I'm bored, I don't see the value in anything. And so you emotionally assess that value, and then you end up letting some things go that were important, were making a difference, were of worth to you. And the moment you realize that value is when you've just let it go.
Warren Hammond 15:07
Yeah, that 'consciously aware' This comes up again and again, this being conscious of making that choice of letting it go, you let it go on purpose, on your terms, don't let it go because you haven't noticed it. Yeah.
Stephen Gribben 15:22
Okay. So that internal piece is that you're doing things that you don't always notice. So this is why understanding value is really important so that you start to notice more the things that you do, and then assess them on importance and worth and value. Then there's the external aspect. You do a lot of things in the hope that someone else notices. You will go that extra mile, you will turn up that bit early, you'll put that extra thought, that extra effort, that extra bit of preparation, in the hope that someone notices, and then when they don't notice, you then feel undervalued, you can sometimes feel a bit foolish for doing all those extra things. Or you can be trying to sell something to someone on the basis of how hard you've worked, rather than the difference that it makes. So this allows you to make more conscious decisions and conscious communication of the things that you do that are of importance and worth AND their value. Otherwise, all that good stuff can be like cellophane, when no one can really see it until you remove and then everything starts to bend a shape, then you realize the value.
Warren Hammond 16:42
Assessing value, externally, this is understanding then not necessarily what you are doing, but why these people are going to find this of importance or of worth, that's also what you said. This isn't about you working hard, it's you working hard to do something for them, to show them,
Stephen Gribben 17:02
you're doing the things and not just doing them in the hope that they notice the importance and value and worth, but actually communicating the value and worth and importance of what you're doing.
Warren Hammond 17:16
Yes, that communication and especially externally then is obviously super important.
Stephen Gribben 17:22
But also what means that you're first of all, assessing what will be of value important to them. So that you're not just doing things that you think are cool, things that you think are different, you know that 'I want to differentiate what we're doing'. And sometimes you can end up just being different rather than better. And so it's understanding that if you want to really trade or communicate professionally or personally, in relationships should be assessed on value, not just on quantity, because that commoditizes where you are and what you do.
Warren Hammond 18:02
When that communication piece is a good let's say 'safety check' as well. If I think I'm doing something for you, which is of huge value, and I'm telling you about it and you go Actually, that's not quite what I'm looking for, it gives me the opportunity to change it if it's either you're not noticing, or you don't feel that value being the active communicator, it actually gives us a chance to recalibrate and get it right.
Stephen Gribben 18:28
And just as a real life example from this morning, a client who I've known for a long period of time, has put together a business, a product, a service and a solution that the world wants. That already has orders in the scale of billions of dollars, but his company are pulling the plug on it, because they don't see the importance, worth or value. So what he's done is he spent the past 3 years doing some fantastic things, pulling all sorts of people together and all sorts of things, and to create something and then prove the concept and even sell the concept but his own organization, because they don't see the value, are not doing their part. And this is a large scale example of what we can all do on a daily or hourly basis, is we do a lot of things to make something happen without actually engaging people in how important this is, the genuine worth of it and the real value. Because what it is then it's just seen as a fantastic idea. But is it valuable?
Warren Hammond 19:41
This is good. This is a conscious and active. That's really clear. Normally lots of sales examples come to mind and lots of sales examples do but there's lots of personal ones, it's where you think you're demonstrating importance and worth to your significant other. Not necessarily THE significant other and they're not seeing it. And then that's when the rows start It's like, yeah, you didn't notice I made you a cup of tea 6:45 this morning and all that sort of things. And you know that understanding that it was important to them, and you didn't appreciate it or acknowledge it, is that activeness isn't it.
Stephen Gribben 20:22
And unfortunately, where that tends to lead is, you no longer make those cups of tea or coffee, because there's that resentment that builds and then well, if you're not going to value then why should I be doing it and that devalues the relationship, and that is one of the key things, whether it's personally or professionally. And if you value something, then it's important to you and has worth to you, then you should be consciously taking care of it.
Warren Hammond 20:54
Just got to make a cup of tea for someone, I'll be back in a moment. hang on a second. okay.
Stephen Gribben 21:02
And in terms of self-development, Value is really, really important. So on those four pillars of things, so this is about ensuring that in terms of your self awareness, you become more aware of your value, both internally and externally. The things that are of value.
Warren Hammond 21:22
And that's that consciousness, then Okay, so that's the awareness. Yep. Okay,
Stephen Gribben 21:28
Then you've got the next pillar, which is self-confidence. So this is you understanding where your value actually sits, the value that you can bring. The things that you can do that are of importance and worth, and remembering and staying connected to your value. Then it's on to self-management. And self-management is then making sure that you bring all your value to the situations that you want to deliver on. So making sure you're at your best for those moments that matter.
Warren Hammond 22:02
The awareness, and then the confidence and the management. Once you acknowledge it and see it, it's being brave enough and being strong enough in yourself then to be active about it. Because sometimes when you're really conscious about these things, a little bit of self-doubt is going to kick in because you're not doing this, almost unconsciously. Sometimes if we do it unconsciously, you're just slip into these situations, the moment you become conscious, it can feel a little bit awkward, so that linking with your self- confidence, taking ownership of the management of it then, this makes sure that you're actively doing the right things. Yeah, I get that.
Stephen Gribben 22:43
And then that fourth pillar of self-determination, is you then determining the value that you want to bring and determining that level of understanding of value. So not just going around and saying 'well, I add value if they can't see it that's their problem. It's about that self-determination. What value do you want do you want to be known for? What importance and worth do you want to be recognized for. In every relationship. and you're self-determining. And that might mean developing some new areas of value. Getting better at stuff or more consistent at things. But also what it's going to mean is that self-determination of making sure that your value is understood, not just waiting to see who gets it
Warren Hammond 23:32
That's great. We touched on elements of this in the Relationship episode as well. And I see that really key one because relationships, we said, it isn't just with people, this is with everything. This is the importance and the worth of your relationships. And with so many things about you. So once you know what your outcome is, you self-determine how you're going to get there. And that's helps by understanding what needs to be valuable to you to help you get to where you need to get to. Yeah, yes, yes. Yes, get it. So the self-awareness, we're conscious of it, we're confident that we will be able to take this all the way through to the self-management, but the big one then is being is being bold enough to self-determine how do you want your future to look, Is that right?
Stephen Gribben 24:22
Yep. Self-Awareness. Knowing what your value is. Self-confident is appreciating what the value and what the worth of what you do is and remembering that that's where you bring. Then the self-management is making sure you do the right things, ask the right questions, bring your value time and time again, the best version of yourself to every situation that matters. And then self-determination is you saying 'Okay what future do I want to have, what value do I want to be known for. That's that you're setting that. And by all means, others might say 'well we see the value in you as this, this and this. If you have not determined what you want your value to be, you're just going to have to go along with what other people think is good enough for you. But that self-determination is you deciding, for your journey, where you want to end up
Warren Hammond 25:14
Like that. And as we touched on this, so many times this comes through is we seem to sometimes slip into all of these different things. By chance, by routine, by luck by where maybe there is some consciousness, but this is understanding that you can use this so many more times than you currently do, isn't it? That's what I think the whole self-development is about is that there are so many more choices and chances you have to determine what's going to happen next for yourself.
Stephen Gribben 25:45
Yeah, and therefore, your development becomes authentic, sincere, consistent. With more conviction, you get to be successful by being you, rather than pretending to be something as someone else, or pretending to not be who you are. But that requires a level of ownership. If you feel undervalued, it has started with you.
Warren Hammond 26:10
So if I'm feeling the other people are not valuing me enough, it starts with me, because I'm not communicating the value enough?
Stephen Gribben 26:22
You haven't identified, assessed and communicated it enough. So you're kind of, well, I did a lot of things I did really well, without actually valuing what you've done, and then communicating that value.
Warren Hammond 26:34
Or I'm just not doing anything of value. And I've got to look at myself in the mirror and say, you know, like you said, 'up your game pal'
Stephen Gribben 26:43
Use the talents that you have, the skills you have, the strengths you have, for better use, where you can create more value.
Warren Hammond 26:51
That is it. So this is isn't, try to be somebody else who is seen as value. It is looking into yourself and saying, This is what I can bring to the party, which would be a value. And then once I'm doing that, actively communicate, this is what I'm bringing to the table.
Stephen Gribben 27:07
And not just hope that someone happens to notice.
Warren Hammond 27:10
Yes. So how do we start with this. Suddenly, this looks that this is a massively important thing that we all got to start doing straight away. So what was a good place to start with, when we look at this?
Stephen Gribben 27:23
There's one model we're going to cover on this. And it's a model that's split into three boxes. And for you to be able to identify, deliver, create, communicate full value. There are three elements to this. So we've got three boxes. The first box is labelled Leadership. And this is not just if you're in a leadership job formerly, or you see yourself in a leadership role, this is the element of leadership providing leadership. So whether that's a friend, a colleague, a parent, or brother, or sister, you know, part of your community in your role, personally or professionally, leadership is that first element. The second box is then relationship. And the third box is then creativity.
Warren Hammond 28:16
So I know that these cover a number of different things. So we will go through each box in a bit more detail, one by one. Is that the plan.
Stephen Gribben 28:26
In essence, what we're going to do is focus all the way through in terms of value. So we're not going to look at the quantity of things in each of these boxes, or the quality of what you do, we're going to look at the value that each of these bring. For example, if you look at leadership. This isn't about the many times you lead or all the things that you do when you go first, or you make a decision. The value in leadership is in providing direction. The value in the Relationship is that it builds confidence. And the value in bringing creativity is to enhance capability. So you can be creative in a whole number of ways, you can be different, you can be off the wall, you can be really imaginative, but the only value in creativity is the creativity that enhances capability. The only and real value in the relationship is that it builds confidence. It's not just to be connected, it's not just to have likes and friends and connections, it's to build confidence. The value in the relationship is to build confidence and the value in leadership is to provide direction.
Warren Hammond 29:42
So we are going through the layers of the onion here, I think. So in the first we've got leadership. So the value in leadership then is in providing direction. So this links us back to importance and worth,
Stephen Gribben 30:02
Yes, so the importance and worth in leadership is the direction that it provides. The importance and worth in the relationship is in the confidence that builds and the importance and wealth in creativity, is in the capability that it enhances. So those are your three boxes. Your full value is in a combination of these three boxes. So this is about having leadership, relationship and creativity. So if we open the lid in the first box of leadership, there are three things in that box. The first part of leadership to provide direction that's of value is your ability to demonstrate that you can eliminate someone else's dangers, so that you can eliminate their worries, anxieties, concerns, issues. So on a level of value is knowing what their dangers, anxieties, worries or issues are, that is on a level of value, that the higher the level of value is then being able to not just understand what they are but be able to eliminate them.
Warren Hammond 31:11
You're saying eliminate. So this isn't, and I know that you choose your words carefully. So eliminate is not de risking or reducing, you're saying no, this is elimination, this is taking it totally and utterly away. So that sounds a big ask. I mean, normally I'm thinking if you're in a sales situation, it is hard to take away or dangers or risks or worries, isn't it? I mean, you, you can reduce them, you can make them manageable but eliminated as a big ask is, is this a goal? Or is this mandatory?
Stephen Gribben 31:54
No, that hasn't eliminating all dangers, it's eliminating dangers. So this is saying, okay, a danger that you might face. So if an organization, for instance, is looking to hire someone, the dangers that they may face, or the dangers that they may be worried about, their concerns and anxieties is maybe getting someone who's the wrong fit. Getting someone who turns out not to be as good as they've been making out to be. So they're really good at interviewing, but not really good at doing the job. I've met some of those people. It may be that the process is too costly or takes too long. It may be that the person is only using that role as a stepping stone to go somewhere else. So there's a number of these dangers, anxieties, worries, concerns. So how would those dangers, concerns and worries be eliminated.
Warren Hammond 32:52
So you can focus yourself onto a danger, you know you can eliminate, for example, so that's it. So you know, you can't get rid of everyone's dangers, but you make it clear, that you communicate that these are the dangers which would be gone.
Stephen Gribben 33:08
This is important. This is eliminating what they perceive to be a danger, not what you assume to be a danger, not what you're predicting to be a danger, unless they have importance or worth, and that will come from eliminating their dangers, not just seeing the eliminate dangers, in general terms, but we can eliminate your dangers. So first of all, what are you concerned about? What are you worried about, what's holding you back from making a decision? What's your biggest concern, what's gone wrong in the past that you don't want to repeat? So finding out what those things are, and the consequences that come from them, and then being able to say, for instance, you don't want to get someone who's the wrong fit, I understand. So therefore, what we're going to do is look at more of the personality of your business or characteristics of the people who do fit best within your business. And then we will match them up to the candidates who have applied for this role in terms of the character fit not just the CV and list of employers.
Warren Hammond 34:08
This is a good way of looking at it. You see this when you've been in Big Blue Chip, let’s say consultancies and smaller ones. The big blue chip ones - part of it is you never get fired for hiring company x. We may be twice the price. But if this is a danger, that's key to you, you'll never get fired for hiring this firm. Whereas for another one, I guess you're focusing on lots of other the other dangers but when you're talking higher up the chain, this wasn't such a big danger. But actually when you were talking with mid-level influencers and buyers, this would be a big one and if you were in one of the non-blue chip or more well known, you wanted to talk to the top person as quickly as possible because of that. That makes sense because that danger was just so big you couldn't eliminate that danger. Unless you were talking to somebody who didn't have that as a worry in their head. That makes total sense.
Stephen Gribben 34:08
Line manager will have dangers that are probably more operational, the HR department's going to have more management and strategic concerns. And then when you speak to the CEO, they're probably going to have more shareholder value concerns. And what you would do to eliminate would be different because there are dangers and worries and concerns and issues are going to be different. And if you take this on a personal level, if you're inviting friends over for dinner, for instance, it's important to understand who you're organizing this with, what their dangers or concerns are, possibly doing too many things, getting caught up in not being prepared or not getting round to organizing the things that they wanted to eat, the way it needs to be done. Your value is then been able to say, okay, you don't need to worry about that, because this is what I'm going to.
Stephen Gribben 36:02
So eliminating dangers is the first thing. Some people really don't even look to identify the dangers, they just assume. And they tell you, what you should be worried about is this. And there is very little value in that. Second things that people do is they'll make the time to ask the questions to identify the issues. So at least, you know, I know what you're worried about. And there's a certain amount of connection and value, but the real value is being able to say 'Here's how we're going to eliminate that. Here's how we're going to take away the worry and anxiety and uncertainty. So that's the first thing. The second thing is then to enable them to focus on Opportunities. Now, this isn't just the 'if you didn't have these worries, that's the opportunity', the Opportunity is if we eliminate those dangers, and worries and concerns, what could you then really focus on? What would you really want to get into? What would that free you up to do? What would really be exciting? What could you really start looking at? Because again, that's the value of your leadership providing direction, we can eliminate, or I can eliminate that danger, worry or concern for you? And then what would that free you up to do? And that is not telling people what they should then be excited by. It's then asking, what would you then really want to do? So we can take away all those worries or concerns what kind of dinner party would you want to organize that? What would you be able to do between now and then?
Warren Hammond 37:30
And that comes back a little bit we talked about on that timeline with dangers and opportunities is if someone's looking at these, their mind gets full of it, they can't focus on the opportunity. So that’s the strength of that eliminating the Danger don't keep half an eye on it, it's gone. That's gone. So now let's look forward to really what you could do. Let's look forward to something better. Okay,
Stephen Gribben 37:54
and the third and final element in leadership is you providing a clear plan and path. A clear, simple, easy, low barrier to entry. This isn't the whole thing it's just what do you need to do to get started. So specifying that and being able to say I have a way of working, here's what I'm going to do for you. Here's the best way for us to start. And here's what I need you to do. So for instance, in my line of work as an executive coach, I'm there to find out the dangers worries and concerns. And the dangers worries and concerns that I will get from different people in an organization about the same person, It's always really interesting. But I'm there to then say, okay, here's how we'll work on that to eliminate that has being an issue or a concern. For a lot of people in my line of work, they will think that's enough. And as far as leadership, they're only dealing with one thought. So what I'm conscious of is then saying. So when we get beyond that, what opportunities do you want this individual to really focus on? How far ahead are we looking here? What is the career potential? What would you want them to be seeing on the other side of this? Or if we do an event, it's not will the event go well, it's about six weeks, 12 weeks, three, four or five, six months down the line what do you want to see happening because this event is going really well. So focus on that opportunity. Then the clear plan and path for me is all I need 15 to 20 minutes over a cup of coffee, just to talk through exactly where you are and where you really want to get to. Which makes it a very clear, some pool or barrier to entry plan and path. And to be honest, if someone's not going to give me 15 to 20 minutes for a coffee. They're probably either not ready or not serious, but it's a clear way to get started because people will get excited. We're going to eliminate these dangers and then we can focus on these opportunities but where do start? And when that is boiled down to just a 15 minute phone call over a coffee, then we can get started.
Warren Hammond 40:10
That's the first sign of commitment. And thinking about this solution focused one as well is when if you're imagining six months in advance event, that's probably quite daunting in a way. But have you got the time and the space and to have a cup of coffee? Well, yeah, of course. And as you said, that's when the confidence and the belief build up. Okay.
Stephen Gribben 40:32
It's a clear and simple plan and path to get started. It's not the whole roadmap.
Warren Hammond 40:37
How would this work on a more personal, internal way then?
Stephen Gribben 40:40
So if it's the dinner party, that someone's organizing, okay, what's the dangers, concerns, what are you worried about, what's keeping you awake at night? What's making you dread this or making you think, I don't know if I should have done this? Because we've all been there. It's really to be able to say, so here's what I'm going to do. Given these are your concerns, whether I think you should have these concerns or not. Those are your concerns. Here's what I can do to help eliminate.
Warren Hammond 41:04
I can be having these conversations to myself. I mean, that's kind of what I mean, it's, I mean, how you're saying it, I'm thinking this could be someone else, but actually, this could be Warren talking to Warren.
Stephen Gribben 41:14
It starts with you. So actually define 'what am I worried about?' Rather than just I'm worried, it's actually specifying it, consciously. Okay, these are the key things I'm concerned about. So what can I do to eliminate this? So when this goes really well, how could that be? What could that then lead to? Okay, so what's the very first thing I need to do? Probably sit down and write out a list.
Warren Hammond 41:43
Yeah, great. You can see that internal monologue. I've got like those two grumpy old men from the Muppets in my head, it's kind of like that, isn't it, you know, you can just have that conversation with yourself and get to get to the good outcome quickly.
Stephen Gribben 42:00
It's you providing yourself with direction through leadership. And you've been doing this, sometimes, all the time.
Warren Hammond 42:10
It's really clear. So it's providing the way of doing it There's a positive direction, and you're getting that first step done, you're off, you're away, you know, the guns gone, you're on your way. Okay. So that's the leadership then, which is providing direction. Okay. And then, then we move on to the second big box, which is then Relationships and the value of the relationships is in building Confidence.
Stephen Gribben 42:41
And if we take the lid off that box and have a look inside, there are three bits in that box. And the first bit in that box is really important, because it's the bit that most people miss. And that first thing is to reinforce strengths. Now, if this is dealing with someone else, it's about reinforcing their strengths. Because this is about building confidence. So it's about reinforcing their strengths. Too many people go to other people and say, let me help you because you're struggling.
Warren Hammond 43:16
Now, this is a really strong one. And I mean, you've talked about it, when we were just talking about the four pillars of self-development, that confidence piece, nothing else will happen if there isn't that confidence to do something positive. So if you're working with somebody else, you want them in a confident place, you want a confident partner, you want a confident customer.
Stephen Gribben 43:44
If you want to be valued, and you want to demonstrate your importance and worth, then part of your importance and worth in terms of the relationship is that they feel more confident with you. It's a positive relationship that builds confidence, rather than undermining. And then what you have is a relationship with someone where they want you to be part of it, rather than scaring people into feeling that they can't do without you, so they just desperately need you.
Warren Hammond 44:15
I was reading recently about the whole gaslighting phenomenon. This is that whole point isn't it is, that dependence, stripping away all the confidence so this person can't live without you, can't do anything. And it's a systematic abuse. And the way they describe it is the real negative, actually the real positive one isn't described as much. It's kind of like don't do this negative thing. Actually, what you're saying is no, it isn't about not doing something, it's actually positively bringing confidence to the conversation to that relationship.
Stephen Gribben 44:51
look, not doing something bad doesn't mean to say you're doing something good.
Warren Hammond 44:56
That actually That's it. That's it and that's when I was reading is that Yeah, don't do that. Don't do those things. But in the whole gaslighting thing that they're saying you see this when in causes, in conspiracies, in movements in gurus and all this social media it's that constant you need me for your confidence what you're saying is 'No. The trick is to imbue the other person with confidence. Going back to the internal monologue then this is that whole, connect with your own.
Stephen Gribben 45:27
If you look at the external bit first, this is about reinforcing that other person's strengths, then you're bringing a really valuable relationship because you're building your confidence. Now, if that's with an organization or a company client, then you're looking to reenforce the brand, reputation, products footprint, what people say about them, the difference they make in the world, their decisiveness, their ambition, their creativity, the clarity of expectation, their professionalism, their consistency, the great to work with. And even that individual within that client you're dealing with. Their personality, their willingness to be open and share with you, the willingness to be challenged, their patience, their desire to do something even better, those are the things you really need to reinforce, so that you're helping build their confidence. If you're talking about an individual, a partner, brother, or sister, neighbour, friend, it's about reinforcing their strengths, it's, 'you're good at this, I trust you to be able to do that really well, you're really strong', 'you're always positive', 'you're great with other people', 'you always find a way', 'you always bounce back, 'you're someone who turns up on time'. Reinforcing their strengths is the first bit of bringing value to relationships because it builds confidence, reinforcing their strengths. And unfortunately, it's the bit in the box that's missed most because people are just desperate to say, 'I can help, I'm good at this'. What you really need to do first of all, is say, 'Look, you're good. And I can really help. But you're good.'
Stephen Gribben 47:11
The second element in the box, then is about building that mutual confidence is then saying, here's my track record of success that's relevant. Here's when I've done these things before, here's what I can bring. Here's what I've done. Here's the situations I've gone through. So with clients and companies that might go on the basis of other businesses and other companies and other clients you've worked with. It may be testimonials, it may be qualifications, it may be endorsements. It may also be the types of people you have worked with, in terms of your personal track record of success that's relevant. If you take that into a personal setting, if you're dealing with someone else on a personal level, it may be 'remember when I was going through that situation with you’. Or I've been through that aspect on my own before, here's what I've done. Don't worry, I've moved house successfully a lot of times, therefore, I can help you with this. Don't get overwhelmed with it, I can help you. So bring your experience and track record to the table is how, first of all, you build confidence that person has in themselves. And then you're saying you can also be confident in me. Because I can add value here. Been there, done that, done it well. I know what I'm doing.
Stephen Gribben 48:37
And then that third element in the box is having an established process. Now, formally with companies and clients that may be, here's an onboarding process, or here's our assessment process, here's how we take a remit on things. Here's our research & investigative process, here's our discovery forms. And having an established process gives that company confidence that you're not just going to come in and try your best and say, trust me. You've actually got an established, documented way of doing things. When you're dealing with someone else on a personal level, that established process may just be 'Look, here's how Tracy and I look at these things. Here's what we did. And we first of all did this, then we did that and then we did this. And that really helped us
Warren Hammond 49:35
On an individual case and looking at this and this is so important. And I get what you mean about how easy it would be to ignore the first one, these conversations and that sort of your track record, reinforcing the strength and the established process. So it works a little bit with the accelerated learning model you discussed as well in the past, isn't it? This is You can do these things; you've done all these things before. Before you come across tricky situations, remember what you did then, this is a slightly different one. You did a list, you joined a group, you had an Excel tick list, whatever it was. And that makes sense as well that you can, as you said, the value in this is building confidence. This is building confidence in yourself, your process and your abilities to see this through. You've done this before, you know how this is going to work, you know what that established process really jumps out with that accelerated learning, applied learning model that you've talked about,
Stephen Gribben 50:44
And it takes it beyond just trying to get lucky again, maybe it was down to circumstances, maybe but it's different times. That was 10 years ago, that was 10 weeks ago, there's another thing. So on an external level, whether it's in companies and formal or more personal and informal. And as you're now saying when you go internal, this is about first of all, reinforcing your strengths. Knowing what you're good at. Know you always turn up, you'll always do your best, you'll get back up, you'll take the knocks and pick yourself up again, you remain positive and optimistic. If someone needs you, you would always be there. all that type of stuff, what you're good at. Then that track record, which is different from reinforcing your strengths it's your track record. When have I succeeded? When have I done good things? when have I made something happen. And then that established process is yours, what works for you. So that this isn’t someone else's solution. Now why this box is really important today, as you've touched on with that gaslighting aspect of it, social media is not designed to reinforce your strengths. It's not designed to connect you with your own successful track record. And it is not designed to give you the ability to find your established process. It's there to undermine all of these things, which is why the value of social media is still as yet unfulfilled. Because what it's looking to do is to undermine your strengths. Telling you that you've if you had a track record, you wouldn't be looking at that article anyway. And, and here's an amateur guru who's going to give you their secrets of success. Their established process that funnily enough, is a sheep dip that going to work for everybody, even though it's not going to work for you. So this is reinforcing your own strengths. This is the relationship within yourself, to build your own confidence, reinforce your strengths, identify your track record of when you've succeeded before, so reconnecting with that, and then establishing your process, how do I tend to work? Am I a list person? Or am I just jumping in and getting things done person? What is my process? Because if you don't have your own process, a whole lot of people who want to tell you theirs,
Warren Hammond 53:08
This comes back to that authenticity that you discussed with this self-development. I like this. Again, so much of this stuff, when you're saying it sounds so obvious. And that's why it's so strong, isn't it, because you know that, as you said, you do this sometimes all the time. And that's it. And that's the key, it hits home really quickly because you know, that when you've done things really well, you've followed bits of this process, or most of this process, but you just didn't really understand that there is a model that you can actually replicate that you can keep doing these things again and again, and make it work for you.
Stephen Gribben 53:49
Value typically for most people, and most organizations is like a scrunched up piece of fabric. And what this enables you to do is to iron this out and see the parts of that fabric that make it something into the whole. And you can see the scope and scale of it and identify what you can do with it. Consciously. Rather than value just being this feeling. So the third box, which is important then is the creativity box, the value in creativity is that it enhances capability. So it's just creativity that doesn't enhance capability, it is still creativity is just not of any importance of worth.
Warren Hammond 54:37
And this is where you see lots of creative, I'm doing that the whole rabbit ears thing now. It's almost just being creative for creative sake. This is about this is creative solution, creative thinking to make things better.
Stephen Gribben 54:53
Look if your differentiation is just been different, then good luck. And people have been able to create some, understand value. But if your differentiation is about being better, providing an improvement, enhancing a capability, then that's high value creativity. So when we open up the lid on that box and we'll see the three things in that box. The first thing we look at is a unique offer. So from a company, or client perspective, this is about your unique offer. So what can you bring that they can't get anywhere else? Now it's likely to be a combination of things, your unique pixels that make up your picture. But it may also be something that you do have that's unique.
Warren Hammond 55:50
So, this could be something similar to what other people do, but it's in a different order, or it's a different speed, or it's a different, yeah, tempo or colour. Okay? So is it doesn't need to be totally and utterly out of this world is just how this is delivered, done, seen, felt, experienced is you, okay,
Stephen Gribben 56:14
Here's what you get here, you won't get anywhere else. Or on a personal level, you may say to someone, here's what I can do for you that no one else will be able to do. Because I know you better. Because you know what I've been through and how I've dealt with it. I can uniquely support you through this. So, you can get something here or, you know, when you speak to me, it's not going to go anywhere else. So there's a unique level of confidentiality between us. Or you and I go back 20 years.
Warren Hammond 56:49
That's incredibly powerful then. So the unique offer originally, you immediately try and think of how do I put a fancy Gizmo on top of a product or something. No, this isn't about that. This can be based on a number of different unique elements that you have in terms of relationship, it could be geography, time, even things like pricing, and the guest could come in at some stage. But literally anything that is part of your proposition, I guess. I desperately tried not to say the word value proposition, any of this. Because proposition is about the communication of the value, this is really identifying and understanding your value. Once that's better understood, then you can propose and communicate it better,
Stephen Gribben 57:35
One of the aspects that I will put to my clients that's unique is that I genuinely don't believe anybody's going to care as much as I will because I won’t treat this as a job.
Warren Hammond 57:45
Okay, so this in the Creativity box. That's number one is unique offer. So this is your unique offer, which is offering value to the other person or to yourself, okay.
Stephen Gribben 57:56
And then the second bit is that it's an integrative approach. And that's a fancy way of seeing I'll fit in. So for a company client’s perspective that might be on the basis of, if you didn't have an integrative approach, and it's amazing how many people will go into a company or client and say, Look, you've tried yourself. You now need to rip all that out then put our stuff in. An integrative approach is. Okay, so what have you done already? Let me see what you've done. Let me work with that. Let me build an improve upon it, let me enhance the capability of what you've already got in place, as opposed to let's just strip it all out. So on a personal relationship basis, that might mean I come and see you or what would be easier for you? Do you want to step out somewhere else to have that type of conversation? How can I help? let's integrate with what you're doing? What's your plans already? What you've already committed to? Right? Okay, let's work with that. That's an integrative I'll fit in, I'll fit around you. That's where you're being creative and you're enhancing capability.
Warren Hammond 58:08
So for yourself, you can look at your own routines, day to day things you do and say, actually, you could do that on the way to work, on the commute or something, you wouldn't have to suddenly do something totally and actually different in your day or your week, to fit to do this thing that that you need to do, okay. And I'm thinking back to the change management episode as well. The danger of ripping out everything is why transformation projects fail. You want to start from the strong base. And that building the competency is actually we've got something really good here to build with, which is adding and changing bits and pieces of it in time. Okay.
Stephen Gribben 59:49
And then the third element in the box is it's an evolutionary solution. And in simple terms, that means 'I'm here for the long term'. So for a client or company perspective that is really already starting to research, starting to look ahead, to saying, okay, these are probably the questions you're going to be asking in the next two to three, four years. Here's the next things that are coming up within your industry that I'm looking at, we're already looking at being an evolutionary solution, so that beyond this situation, we're already getting prepared for that. On a personal relationship basis, then you're looking at someone else saying, look, you know, I'm going to be here. This isn't just, okay, to be in this situation, and then we'll part company', it's look I really want you to succeed, I really want this to go well for you, I want to be having dinner in this new house with you over the next five or 10 years and seeing how you're going. And as you move on in different relationships, and everything else having a relevance and value on an evolving basis. We won’t need to help you with this in the future, what we're really want to be doing is this - wouldn’t it be great if we're having conversations about this, this and this. That is enhancing capability by having an evolutionary solution. And how we're covering this today will still be relevant to you in five- or 10-years’ time. Because this situation you're going through, you can have 10s of different situations that are relevant to that. So it has life, it has legs,
Warren Hammond 1:01:24
In sales terms, you see this, obviously, you see this with products, you know, this product is long lasting. You see this in SAS conversations, the reason we're happy to do this on a monthly basis, is we know this is going to be long term. And it's kind of eliminating that danger. And it's going to be defunct. But one thing I think is sometimes missed then is that relationship aspect you said. Our conversation is going to change, our relationship is going to develop as the product changes, I think that's something that maybe, I'm guilty of sometimes looking at the product that you're doing, and not actually linking in everything together, all the different elements of that relationship are going to evolve. And you actually would do a lot of that until that bit and then you kind of just leave and just say so this is a product for all seasons. It is actually no, this relationship is something for all seasons.
Stephen Gribben 1:02:14
So for the external either in companies and clients or, in personal relationships externally. In this box, you've got that what's unique, so what you're going to get from me, what can you get here that you won't be able to get anywhere else. Then that integration, so I'm going to fit in and fit around you. And that's not just being okay, whatever you want. This is saying how specifically we're going to integrate. And then there's that evolutionary thing. So we're here for the longer town, this is the beginning or the continuation of 5,10, 15-year relationship. And as things change and evolve, we're going to be there.
Stephen Gribben 1:02:50
Now, if you look at that internally, this is you looking at your unique aspects, the bits that are really about you. This is then integrating with that by saying 'what's my process, what works for me, as you were saying, maybe the commute on the train or the bus or the car or whatever, or it may be, this integrates because I've got kids or I'm home-schooling or not home-schooling, or I'm working or whatever your lifestyle is, is integrating with what works for you, rather than creating sheer disruption for that three or four weeks while you try and learn a new language or a new way to cook things. It is actually integrating so that in six years’ time you're still wanting to do it and then that evolutionary solution is making that lifelong view on saying. So what then happens? What would I learn from this that would be a value going forward? If I can do this, what else could I then be doing?
Warren Hammond 1:03:47
Yes, that’s really strong. Love that. Features with that future outcome as well, you should be able to see a pretty clear link then between that self-determined outcome that you want and where this is going to take you as well. There should be a red line somewhere through this all
Stephen Gribben 1:04:03
Now the combination of these things is where your full value is. And you'll notice that there's nothing about cost or price in any of those nine elements within the three boxes. Because this takes you beyond being commoditized. You know, it can be you or someone else? How much is it going to cost? This really starts to move you up towards value and impact as opposed to just quantity or quality. Where it loops back around is when you move from that evolving solution to then reiterate back in the leadership box, your clear plan and path. So all we're looking for to get started is why don't we catch out for 15 minutes over a coffee.
Warren Hammond 1:04:46
I mean lots of different examples are coming into mind about where this works. But yeah, sometimes it is money. But as you said sometimes it's going to be time, space or effort. If you need to spend a lot of time or headspace or effort on something, it needs to be of value, of importance or worth, otherwise you won't do it. So if you haven't done this well enough, then this won't be valuable enough for you to spend an hour a day on, an hour a week on, because it's not valuable. Okay?
Stephen Gribben 1:05:19
So to summarise over those, those nine bits within the three boxes. And we'll just do this on a personal internal basis. It's to be aware of what you're worried about or anxious about. But look at how you can eliminate that. It's then focusing on what the opportunities you want to create. And then understanding what you can do within 15 minutes to get things started.
Stephen Gribben 1:05:43
Then it's about reinforcing your strengths to build your confidence, identifying when you've done things well, so your successful track record, and then just be aware of what is your process? What tends to work for you? And then in third box of creativity, we are looking to enhance your capability, look at what you do and what you can bring that just is just from you. What's unique? How can you then integrate that into what you're already doing? So it's not revolution. And also then the evolving piece. What can you learn from that that's going to serve you well going forward? So where's the evolving solution, where's the evolving value that continues to enhance your capability.
Stephen Gribben 1:06:23
At an operational level with this, it's about understanding your value on these aspects, because you're already doing all nine things, some of the time. Some of these nine things, you can identify better, work on more, some of them you're doing all right with. There may be one or two that you think I've really haven't paid any attention to those. But you're likely to have a connection with all nine. So it's understanding your value first of all. Understanding these are things that value comes from. At a management level, it's then assessing where you are in terms of making sure on these nine points, you're as strong as you possibly can in terms of your value. And then at that strategic level, it's then communicating that value to yourself, and to others, so that you're never feeling undervalued, or devalued, or commoditized. Or to make you feel you don't really count,
Warren Hammond 1:07:19
this is great. I mean, if you do this, well, your days, weeks, months years should be full of valuable, important worthy work. And you should feel that it is valuable. And everyone else you're working with should feel a value. I mean, that's one amazing place to be. That you feel that everything you are doing, you've set yourself up so well that everything you are doing is valuable to you and to others, you feel it to yourself, they feel it as well.
Stephen Gribben 1:07:52
You get to enjoy being successful because you're being successful by being you.
Warren Hammond 1:07:57
Yeah. And that is the best type of success. That's happiness. This is being very valuable. Thank you, Stephen, this is great. I'm loving this. Nine boxes three times three, loving it, thank you talk again soon.
Warren Hammond 1:08:12
Every time, every time I have these conversations with Stephen, I feel that we're going over something we've done so many times before. And every time I get better insights, I feel smarter at the end of it. Part of this whole self-development continuum, becoming more and more aware of value, of how to define it, how to use it, how to translate it, how to articulate it, how to communicate it. And the confidence that comes from knowing this well, the confidence of having a model, the confidence of having done this before. And taking this and managing this to determine your own future, your own outcome. It's so powerful. Valuable, I guess is the word I should use. I'll write out the model. Again, everything all of this information is on the CoachPro site. So do go and check it out. Thank you. Everyone who's listening for this or for sharing for liking on LinkedIn, for recommending it to your friends and family it is much appreciated. I really hope this gets to someone who could really use it at this moment in time. Anyway, I'm going to start going through a nine-box model myself. up you will talk to you again soon. Bye bye.